So, Huckabee’s Out. Now What?

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In a sad moment for American political history, Mike Huckabee has bowed out.

Former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee bowed to “the inevitable” and dropped out of the Republican presidential race Tuesday night after an improbable run for a politician little known beyond his home state a year ago.

Huckabee announced he was giving up his bid for the White House after John McCain swept Tuesday’s contests in Texas, Ohio, Vermont and Rhode Island, giving the Arizona senator the delegates needed to claim the party’s nomination in September.

“It’s been a heckuva run,” he said.

Huckabee urged his supporters to back McCain in November and said he has no “Plan B” for his political career.

The last true Republican has left the race. The GOP nominee will now be a RINO who opposes free speech and embraces bigoted Catholic-bashers. The RINOs have won the Party, and I strongly urge all Christians to leave the building.

In a way, this is a positive development. Huckabee was the last obstacle to the Brownback write-in campaign. My faith is too strong to allow me to believe that God hates America this much. As far as I can tell, He wants to test our resolve and our piety. We have a clear choice this November: vote for a Satanist Communist Islamist (be it Billary or Hussein Osama), vote for a Socialist RINO with Know-Nothing 19th-century Nativist leanings (McCain), or write-in a candidate. That candidate will be Brownback, and his victory will shake this hypocritical Babylon to its foundations. God has not yet forsaken His faithful. That is a promise, America. That is a promise.

Go, and pray for what comes. We face a challenging time of darkness before the light shall again shine down upon us.

Vote for America! Vote for Brownback!

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4 Responses to “So, Huckabee’s Out. Now What?”

  1. MikeM Says:

    Huckabee bowing out was the best part of last night.

    The right-wing of the GOP is in shambles, and we got to watch the last embers burn away to smoke last night. Poof. Gone.

    Oh well, there’s always the write-in campaign. Let us know how that goes, eh?

    I hope the GOP splits into two parties. Seriously, I think it’d make the GOP stronger. Many, many Americans detest the hard-right social policies of the GOP, and are fiscally conservative Democrats simply because of that. If Huckabee/Brownback/Tancredo form a party to the right of the GOP, with both social and fiscal conservatives, two things would happen:

    1) You’d get more members than you’d think, and

    2) The new GOP, minus the yahoos, would grow more than you’d think.

    Then you could just form coalitions in the Senate and House. The Democratic party would shrink.

    As it is, if you guys want to continue to call both McCain and Huckabee Republicans, well, get used to your minority status.

    By the way, I’ll only point this out on a satiriblog, which is what this is. There’s no chance I’d say this at Republicans.com (or whatever in heck they call it these days). It might dawn on them that I’m right. I really don’t want that to happen.

  2. Sisyphus Says:

    The GOP is going to die without Christian support. It had 14% of the electorate in 1976. 14%. It needs us to thrive. It’s as simple as that. If they want to serve Mammon instead of God, that’s on them. Brownback will win in spite of the GOP, not because of it.

  3. Jimmy Goddard Says:

    Sisyphus, Psycheout – It’s time to get on board the Straight Talk Express. America needs principled folk like you- It’s time to unite against our common enemy: Hobama

  4. Brian-sama Says:

    All right, Sisyphus. I have a couple of questions for you. Since your faith is too strong to allow you to “believe that God hates America this much,” what will you do when the Brownback write-in campaign proves itself to be a lost cause?

    It will not work, I can promise you that. Most people don’t even know who Brownback is. If Mike Huckabee, who was more popular than Sam, couldn’t beat McCain by being on the ballot, what makes you think Brownback can beat McCain without being on the ballot?

    I for one, will “put my money where my mouth is,” so to speak. If Brownback wins, I will fly – no, walk – to your house and eat my hat right in front of you, topping it with condiments of your choice. That’s how confident I am that your fantasy can never, ever become a reality.

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