Camel Spiders: Saddamite Demons

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camel_spider_sm.jpg

No discussion of the War in Iraq can be complete without a mention of the gravest foe our troops face over there: camel spiders. Compared to them, the jihadists and assorted evildoer loonies are a minor inconvenience. Camel spiders are the demons directing the show.

By coming to this website you’re probably wondering “are camel spiders real?”. If you asked yourself those questions, then the answer is yes, but the truth is very different from what may have heard from your friends.

Indeed it is, my misleading moonbat friend. Camel spiders can be roughly as large as medium-sized dogs, can travel at over 20 miles per hour, enjoy disemboweling camels for sustenance, and have been known to eat sleeping or dying men in the desert. Throughout history, any warrior missing in action in Mesopotamia was usually written off as camel spider fodder. That still holds true today.

Don’t believe me? Here’s the testimony of the soldier who took the above photo:

From someone stationed in Baghdad. He was recently bitten by a camel spider which was hiding in his sleeping bag. I thought you’d like to see what a camel spider looks like. It’ll give you a better idea of what our troops are dealing with.

Enclosed is a picture of his friend holding up two spiders. Warning: not for the squeamish! This picture is a perfect example of why you don’t want to go to the desert. These are 2 of the biggest I’ve ever seen. With a vertical leap that would make a pro basketball player weep with envy (they have to be able to jump up on to a camels stomach after all), they latch on and inject you with a local anesthesia so you can’t feel it feeding on you.

They eat flesh, not just suck out your juices like a normal spider. I’m gona be having night mares after seeing this photo!

Camel spiders were frequently used by Saddam Hussein to torture confessions out of the victims of his terrorist regime. The mere mention of these nefarious beasts was often enough to extort a tearful confession from his victims, punctuated by tears and shrieks as they begged for a merciful death rather than exposure to the desert demons. Saddam, whose league with the forces of darkness is common knowledge at this point, as likely as not ordered his Baathist henchmen to disregard such pleas for humanity.

Less is known about the role of camel spiders in the ongoing insurgency of dead-enders. Very likely, though, camel spiders are frequently used in connection with IEDs. These creatures, which crave darkness and shadow and blood like the wholesome rabbit craves carrots and lettuce, are very good at spotting the best place for hiding an object alongside a road. All too often, insurgents could use the presence of camel spiders as a dark omen from Satan that this is an opportune spot to plant a bomb.

Moonbats, of course, will deny many of these facts, as is their wont. But even they concede they know very little about the behavior of these demoniac monstrosities.

The biology, behavior, and ecology of solifuges remain relatively poorly studied, despite the extensive work by Punzo over the past decade and prior work by Muma and others

Of course it’s poorly studied. Despite the proliferation of both camel spiders AND liberals in Perdition, no liberals have returned to discuss the infernal activities of these hideous demons.

One thing remains certain. Our brave soldiers face not only cowardly human enemies in battle, but they also face slinking, lurking, crawling, burrowing demon-nemeses as they sleep. These vicious brutes make the insurgents seem downright honorable in comparison. At least the insurgents will only kill your body. They won’t eat your flesh or try to devour your soul while you sleep. After our victory over our human adversaries in Iraq, our next President would do well to begin an extensive war of annihilation against our in-human foes, the “arachnid” demons who can slice scorpions in half with their fangs and steal a baby from its very cradle.

God help us all. God bless America, and God bless our brave fighting men.

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63 Responses to “Camel Spiders: Saddamite Demons”

  1. michael Says:

    hey,
    i think i might know what you mean. i’ve been bitten by brown recluses before, AND my dad is in iraq for the third time.

  2. goldfish! Says:

    this story is soooo fake.
    camel spiders do not jump that high.
    they do not eat camel’s stomaches.
    “They eat flesh, not just suck out your juices like a normal spider.”…….LIE!
    get the facts before ya write bout it!

    • tom Says:

      how do you know that it is fake? have you seen a camel spider jump before? i havnt but i dont plan to. im just saying it could be true you never know.

  3. Jonathan Guerrero Says:

    You are an idiot. http://www.camel-spiders.net/Articles/ProbagatedCamelSpiderMyths.html. That website will tell you the truth about camel spiders.

  4. Fanci Says:

    Woah that’s effin crazy man!! My brother in law is in Iraq and he’s actually sen one of these! He says they chase you cause they want to get in your shadow so that’s real real crazy I wouldn’t want one of those chasin after me!!

  5. Static Says:

    This was a hoax circulated by email, now pure urban legend. The picture was shot to give the illusion that they are larger than they are. The facts stated are misrepresented or exaggerated.

    http://www.hoax-slayer.com/camel-spider-hoax-email.html
    http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2004/06/0629_040629_camelspider.html
    http://www.camel-spiders.net/
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Solifugae

    Too bad, it would be just like a Hollywood horror flick if it were true.
    Personally, I don’t care for spiders. They are creepy, especially the larger they are. But if something like the way camel spiders were described actually existed, I think humans would be at the bottom of the food-chain.

    • Danny Says:

      The bottom of the food chain? Really? That’s just a LITTLE bit of an exaggeration really don’t you think? And my Dad’s out there now, with loads of other people from the armed forces… A lot of this is true actually… Jus’ sayin’

  6. tiffany... Says:

    hahahahah THEYRE BLOWN…

    TRY PESTICIDES DUDE!
    GOD HATES LIERS!

  7. Samantha Says:

    Actually, yes, they do burrow into camels and feed off of their flesh, only to eventually lay eggs inside the camel, if possible, before it dies. Everyone I know that has been over there in the Army and Marines swears to this.

  8. Jake Says:

    Yes, goldfish! Thats why they wrote this article! To mess with the people!HAHAHAH FOOLED YOU, HAHAHA I FEEL DISTILLED OF ALL MY ADULT HOOD RESPONSABLITIES!!! HEHEHE I FEEL AS REBELLIOUS A A WOOD ELF!! you are a revolutionary jack ass, in fact! I want to place you in a glass box….with a box inside this glass box, you can deny nothing will happen if you sleep, the box is there for furniture, but then right when curiosity persuades you to peek at the contents of this box….well I’m sure you can guess what content is contained in this harmless package, or are you denying that too?

  9. Krystal Wickham Says:

    i belive evry word because my uncle Todd McWatters, who is in iraq right now found a big camel spider and hes keeping it to get it fibered glass(you know like they do w/ fish or a deer that you caught), and hes going to bring it home to me and show me.
    God bless my uncle and all the soliders whos serving this country

    thank you Lord for not having camel spiders in America

  10. Elephant Bones Says:

    NO THAT IS LIBERAL CONSPIRACY!THEY ARE NOTHING BUT RETARDS AND DROOLING IMBECILES UNTIL THEY BEAT OUR PATHETIC ARGUMENTS, THEN THEY ARE EVIL CUNNING CONSPIRACISTS!

    Honestly, pick one view or the other. It’s not that hard. Are we stupid? Are we a bunch of evil Illuminati? PICK ONE.

  11. Bitosam Says:

    After reading through this I can’t beleieve some people are so uneducated. I used to live in Saudi Arabia as a teen and yes there are camel spiders. I saw one climb over the patio from the dinner table and about choked on my food. They are real and yes they do jump I heard up to 10 feet it really depends on the size of it. Also they do digest the flesh and such as camels have been found partially eaten in the desert because of them.

  12. mama G Says:

    “gold-FISH MOUTH” people like you should be fed shit 24/7….GET A LIFE!!!!!

  13. me Says:

    some of it is true & some false… they do get up there in size, they were/are used for torture (but so are fire ants, mosquitoes, ets…) they do chase, i’m not sure if its for the shadow or not, i’m not one to let em get close enuff to find out… it’s a big freekin spider! they do eat flesh, many spiders do. before freakin out and yellin at people for being uneducated or jackass, remember america doesn’t have these gynormouse spiders and most really know nothing about it, grow up and remember that assholes!

  14. dolp Says:

    I HATE LIARS!!!!!!!!:(!!!!!!!!!!!!
    ///////////////////////////

  15. OMG ITS NOT A LIE Says:

    I was biten by these sand demons and i cant use my arms. The reason i know i cant use my arms is when i tried to type i could not…i am now using my tongue to type since THESE SAND DEMONS TOOK MY ARMS!!!

    • me Says:

      FAKE FAKE FAKE spoiler alert i was at repticon atlanta today (reptile expo) they had camel spiders and i bought 2 tarantulas they dont take you arms besides the biggest ones are 4 inch legspan and only leave like a 1 inch ring wound, so all those pictures on the internet are fake so sorry bro you didnt convince me

  16. NorthernDragon Says:

    Wow,,, everybody takes everything tooo seriously. I got a huge laugh out of this article. I guess if everyone weren’t so ready to believe everything you hear, you’d see the sarcasm and irony in the writing.
    DUH…

  17. saddam hussan Says:

    hahahah one of the spiders bet me hahahah i died

  18. Camel Jockey Says:

    It’s almost enough to make you wonder why the Good Lord created such monsters in the first place, let alone why he’s permitting them to bother our brave troops.

  19. Popsie Says:

    rabbits can’t eat lettuce. it gives them tummy upsets

  20. soizon Says:

    hahaha what a load of bullsh!t this is the most retarded and biased article ive ever read. read wikipedia people, 20 mph my arse!!

    COMPLETE F***ING BULLSH!T

  21. Ron Says:

    I am a native of Wyoming and have lived and worked as a ranch cowboy in the rural areas of the Rocky Mountian West most of my adult life. While working with livestock, we encounter “Sun Spiders” which are of the same family – Solpugids – as the Camel Spider. You can believe the Camel Spider exists and is as dangerous to humans as this article claims. A smaller version of the Camel Spider, the Sun Spider is so named because it avoids bright or direct sunlight, preferring shaded places to hide. Sun Spiders – also called “wind scorpions”, reach a size of 3 to 4 inches including the span of their legs. The front pair of legs are actually feelers with which Sun Spiders can climb, grasp, feel. They eat large insects such as grasshoppers and beetles, and ocassionally eat mice and other small animals. Sun Spiders have mandibles which function vertically instead of horizontally like an ant’s jaws. This gives them the ability to chew their prey much like any other predator. They, too, are not to be taken lightly in the presence of humans.

  22. Bollywood. Says:

    ONE OF THESE CHEWED ON MY BOOBS, NOW MY NIPPLES ARE HUGE!

  23. Bollywood. Says:

    ONE OF THESE CHEWED MY LADY BITS, NOW IT LOOK LIKE A KEBAB.

  24. HOLLAAAAAAAAAA Says:

    As an expert on foriegn spiders, i can assure you that this article is completely true.
    They most certainly do eat souls, they devour them and crap them out on the devils doorstep. This delivery is neccesary for their survival.
    In the early 15th century, camel spiders were small and pathetic scavengers. Sick of the taunts and jibes from the other spiders and scorpians they made a deal with the devil; in exchange for their superior size and agility, they were forced to eat the souls of western soldiers.- This is, of course, because the jihadists they meet are already going to hell and their delivery to satan would be a pointless waste of spider time.

    PEACE OUT

    xxx

  25. Gnome Says:

    i have been bitten 3 times by those brutes! yes they are real. i have a photo of one i married 10 years ago.

  26. Sidsel Roine Says:

    Grow up and get real Arachnophobes.

  27. Morbid Says:

    Look up camel spiders on google and read the actual NATIONAL GEOGRAPHY section of one. OR heres an idea watch this video of an ACTUAL Soldier in iraq who caught one http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XOXvdfcct8g&NR=1

    According to national geographic they only get to about 6-8 inches and they run as fast as 10 mph (which is fast for a bug) They DO NOT feed on flesh of any sort. They only eat other desert insects or small lizards. Their bite is painful but is in no way dangerous so the uneducated person who posted this blog needs to learn something before saying things so utterly retarded

  28. Shmajackie Says:

    holly mother of god!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I fell sorry for the soldiers!!!!!!!!!
    if it was me i would have brought all the troops home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  29. agent smith Says:

    what a load of bullshit.

  30. GrandmaMoses Says:

    i’d DIP if i saw one of those

  31. Helen Says:

    Camel Spider (Solpugid)

    They are actually Giant Egyptian Solpugids, and grow to be a bit more than 6 inches long.

    They are however extremely fast runners, with a top speed estimated between ten and fifteen miles per hour.

    Although their bite is extremely painful, they are not deadly to humans. They are however vicious predators, who can bring nearly instant death to rodents, lizards and birds. They hunt primarily in the evening, and using jaws that are nearly impossible to escape from they will seize and hold a struggling prey until their jaws have done their work.

    They have large, hardy jaws that can be about a third as long as their bodies, so their bite is strong enough to handle even the most wiggly of prey.

    They use them to seize their victims and turn them to pulp with a chopping or sawing motion.

    Camel spiders do use digestive fluids to liquefy their victims’ flesh, making it easy to suck the remains into their stomachs

  32. kris Says:

    this is a complete waste of time…why are you all commenting on this? o wait..so am i! but just to say maybe we all need to get out more…this is ridiculous we spend time flexing our opinion on this….this is dumb…..lets just stop going to sites like this and move along….

  33. zahra h Says:

    OMG i hate camel spiders and i havent had a bite from a camel spiders and why on hell would ppl want to keep dem as a PET ( only if ur stupied ppl) BYE !!

  34. Ninja-D Says:

    LMAO!! What a load of shit. This guy sought out every myth about these things he could find and put them all in the article as if it were true. Bravo… you studied well. Now eat shit and die for trying to mislead everyone.

    hail satan!

  35. Alaskangirl Says:

    Camel spider, camel toe…….both make me feel uncomfortable hehe. Actually, if you look at the picture closely, one is grasping the other with its jaws. It is 2 spiders, and with the scale of the soldiers cuff, they seem to not be all that big, albeit that they are a large spider. That being said, they are still a damn creepy creature.

  36. WTF crackhead Says:

    heh, evil devil spawn animals. Oh noes the camel spiders are in north korea helping build nukes.

  37. James Says:

    Hey belive what you will….. but these suckers do get big…. i seen one when i was in the middle east last year… this sucker was about 4 inches long….. and that to frigen big for me to want to mess with…… i admit i ran the other way…..

  38. www.wikipedia.org/wiki/Camel_spider Says:

    really, that’s bull

  39. Brandflake88 Says:

    This whole thing is bull. there are so many things wrong with this. there are two camel spiders in that picture. there is no way in hell that anybody would rather be bombed by a terrorist than bit by a “spider”. They do however eat DEAD camel stomachs, but they CANNOT run over 20 mph or get bigger than the a small dog or for that matter bigger than a rat. if Saddam wanted to torture someone, WHY WOULD HE USE SOMETHING THAT USES ANESTHETICS TO KEEP ITS BITE PAINLESS?!? no shit a NOCTURNAL animal will hide in the darkness, and find it easily, and why wouldn’t an animal crave food (blood). anybody who would ever think of raging an all-out war against these “spiders” is FUCKING CRAZY. why the hell would any american care about animals that ONLY live in Iraq.

  40. shai Says:

    at my vast Exp, serving in the isreali desert for two years, as a part of my IDF period, i can testify that Spider-Camels (known in isreal as “AKRABOOTS”) are more then real.

    may god help those who must face their wrath

  41. bobby Says:

    Camel spiders became an Internet sensation during the Iraq war of 2003, when rumors of their bloodthirsty nature began to circulate online. Many tales were accompanied with photos purporting to show spiders half the size of a human.

    For many years, Middle Eastern rumors have painted camel spiders as large, venomous predators, as fast as a running human, with a voracious appetite for large mammals. The myths are untrue. These creatures do not actually eat camels’ stomachs or sleeping soldiers, and they are not so large—but the real camel spider is still an amazing predator.

    The camel spider’s history of misinformation begins with a misidentification. Camel spiders are not even spiders. Like spiders, they are members of the class Arachnida, but they are actually solpugids.

    Camel spiders, also called wind scorpions and Egyptian giant solpugids (SAHL-pyoo-jids), are only about 6 inches (15 centimeters) long. Photos that purport to show creatures six times that size have misleading perspective—the spider is invariably placed in the foreground where the lens makes it appear much bigger than its actual size. True, they are fast, but only compared to other arachnids. Their top speed is estimated at 10 miles (16 kilometers) per hour.

    Camel spiders are not deadly to humans (though their bite is painful), but they are vicious predators that can visit death upon insects, rodents, lizards, and small birds. These hardy desert dwellers boast large, powerful jaws, which can be up to one-third of their body length. They use them to seize their victims and turn them to pulp with a chopping or sawing motion. Camel spiders are not venomous, but they do utilize digestive fluids to liquefy their victims’ flesh, making it easy to suck the remains into their stomachs.

  42. eric Says:

    Iwould take out an AK47 and shoot the dumb little spiders. Then I would stomp all over its dead little body with combat boots on.

  43. somebody_somewhere Says:

    i dare you to eat it….

  44. dean Says:

    lol a suprising number of people dont seem to realise this is a piece of satire. but joking aside i wouldnt want to meet one of those

  45. bill Says:

    This is a fabricated lie….just like the “War on Terror,” just like the fabricated “Weapons of Mass Destruction.” Sisyphus …. you are an idiot, and it’s idiots like you that contribute to the decay of American society. Thank God Obama has been elected and moronic pro-war, reagan loving conservatives like yourself no longer rule our country.

  46. You're an idiot Says:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Camel_Spiders

    Do you have nothing better to do with your life?

  47. Shaleik Abdul Says:

    Fuck all you american pigs, i hope these camal spiders rape your soldiers and cut their tiny dicks off with their jaws. You are fucken ignorant cunts. In my home town these spiders roam free and i hope the american troops come so i can shoot them

  48. breanna malone Says:

    this thing totle makes me afraid of spiders now i thought a water spider was big

    love:breanna malone

  49. Tommy G Says:

    Dude your dumb that pictures fake.the guys sleeve right next to the camel spider shows that there not that big and those are two spiders 1 biting the other. camel spiders have 8 legs not 16 dumb ass.

  50. American Pride Says:

    if that Shaleik guy isn’t lying, or if he hasn’t been killed by american troops YET he can go fuck himself. Everyone that isn’t american can die

  51. Marisa Says:

    hey i just found one in my house!!! fust lil fuckers, but i won!!!

  52. Frankie Mclean Says:

    Burn in hell!

  53. Frankie Mclean Says:

    In the name of Kane!

  54. Frankie Mclean Says:

    Brotherhood! Peace! Unity!

  55. Frankie Mclean Says:

    The oppressors must die! In the name of kane!

  56. Frankie Mclean Says:

    The Brotherhood will prevail!

  57. Soldes Says:

    Soldes…

    […]Camel Spiders: Saddamite Demons « Blogs 4 Huckabee[…]…

  58. Dee Says:

    If you read this you have internet access and can research this yourself. All of you argue over the authenticity of the picture yet all you have to do is look up you tube videos they average 6 inches, this picture is actually two stuck together, each about the size of a ruler (12 in.) in any species you get gigantic once in a long time individuals. The tallest human was 8 ft. 11 in. It doesn’t mean we all are 8 ft. Tall! There is only one species known to be venomous in India. If You look them up on you tube you get a better idea of how they eat. Don’t you sound stupid talking smack calling people names yet choosing to remain ignorant?!

  59. PR clanky Says:

    PR clanky…

    […]Camel Spiders: Saddamite Demons « Blogs 4 Huckabee[…]…

  60. tjeff28:aug2365@corals.keppel.bay.com Says:

    Pretty! This was an incredibly wonderful post. Thank you for providing
    this info.

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